Light Space
Glitter dances
upon the shimmering
ripples if iridescent blue.
Specs of glass-like
granules dance
through the breeze.
Rush, Thrust, Pull, Recede
Breaking free of this
world, stands a lonely
peak of plaster.
White as the sun
stained with blood
colored varnish.
Spiraling planks
fill the interior
of the dome shaped
architecture.
Shine, Rotate, Illuminate, Blink
I wrote this piece last semester. For some reason I really like it. However, I need some advice on how to format it and I despise the title. PLEASE help a chick out.
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I think you should maybe do the lines a bit differently. I think many of your lines should come together, and that this poem might need to be put in quatrains. Also, I would change the word "upon" in the second light to something much simpler, so that it will not catch the readers eye but will instead allow them to get "comfortable" in the poem.
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