#16

Even though I did not speak out in class I did find some interesting things that Billy Collins made reference to in his poem "Journal"(page 20).

Corot: was a French landscape painter and print maker in etching.
Catullus: was a Roman poet of the 1st century BC. The works that survived are still widely read today and continue to influence poetry and other forms of art.

Camus: was a French author, philosopher, and journalist who was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1957.

Anodyne: is a medicine that relieves or soothes pain by lessening the activity in the brain.

Kingfisher: Because I didn't know what it was... Is a bird.

Leonardo's Codex: I looked at a picture of the this. It had many doodles and drawings in the margins.

I really could not believe that I had read through this poem the first time and didn't even realize that I had read over so many unfamiliar things. The poem seemed familiar and comfortable enough without knowing the exact meanings and that really amazes me. Collins is pretty awesome if you ask me.

#15

A Cross Haiku

For my newly created form I used a non-traditional styled Haiku with the use of Acrostics.

My example:

Ted

Trees have a time to
expand, during a season
drenched enough at the heart.


The first words of each line spell out Ted and the first letter of each word makes the statement: That Ted as death. Not the best example but I ran out of time. It was a fun form to try out and if any of you have some extra time I encourage you to try it as well.

#14

Disheartened

The cafe is
bustling, green
menus cover
the searching eyes,
of possible
prospects, she now
realizes that
she will remain
at this booth,

in the corner,
she sits, her hair
tasseled like a
child's, clouds fall in-
to her eyes, gloom
has found its path.
In the posture
of un-watered
flowers she sits.

With vibrating
limbs, she waits, for
the person in
white, swirling the
long forgotten
memories in
her now cold cup
of tea, as she
waits for the chime.

This is the new version of my syllabic poem that I re-worked after reading through the suggestions for this week. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate all the feedback I received. There were a couple of you who questioned who she was waiting for and why she was there, but I wanted this poem to be somewhat open for interpretation. The reader can imagine the women in whatever situation comes to mind. Again thanks everyone. If any of you have more suggestions to make this piece better please let me know.

#13

Pantoums

Ok, I'm going to start out very honest. I had a really hard time with the pantoum this week. It took me a very long time to complete the one I did and frankly it stinks. So I plan to revise and re-work it so that I can give it to the class for more revisions and suggestions. I have a new goal in life... Conquer Pantoums! I thought I would post the stinky one so that you guys could give me suggestions before I re-work it.

Traveling Charleston and Main

From where do these ruthless people come?
Is it not enough to be a lady,
we curtsey gracefully, polite fully so?
We do wear our dresses and our bonnets.

Is it not enough to be a lady?
We cross our legs and pin our hair,
when we wear our dresses and our bonnets.
But the old women scowl and heave as if we did something wrong.

We cross our legs and pin our hair,
in fear of the cold night's draft.
The old women still scowl and heave as if we did something wrong.
Perhaps they are envious of our beauty.

They fear the cold night's draft.
The old hag's health is declining.
They are envious of our beauty,
and do not care for us at all.

The old hag's health is rapidly declining.
We still curtsey gracefully, polite fully so.
But they do not care for us at all.
From where do these ruthless people come?


I was going for an older time. The ladies are prostitutes and the old women obviously do not approve. I do not think this idea is very clear so any suggestions would be much appreciated.

#12

There Are No Bars to Our Embrace

There are no bars to our embrace,
No presence more than in heart.
We live our lives with love and grace,
Together still, though still apart.

No presence more than in the heart,
No touch more salient than a dream.
Together still, though still apart,
We are more lucky than we seem.

No touch more salient than a dream,
Though dreams alone must sometimes be.
We are more lucky than we seem,
If I trust you, and you trust me.

Though dreams alone must sometimes be,
We live our lives with love and grace.
If I trust you, and you trust me,
There are no bars to our embrace.

~Nicholas Gordon

I love this poem. The form is right on and the rhyme isn't over powering. I think it supplies a good message as well. I hope that my pantoum turns out half this good. I hope you guys like it as well. Feel free to share your comments on this piece with me. :)

#11

Dreamless

My hands are shaking.
My eyes are half shut.
Delirium flows through my veins
and sloshes around in my head.

Something is holding me here
in this state of consciousness.
I have knelt at the feet of my
sleepless specter.

I pleaded for some relief.
For she is the one who-
prohibits me to sleep.

She's dressed in white.
Her form is squared.
Every night her head is there beside mine.

And she whispers...
"You mustn't sleep dear one.
There's far too much you have left undone."

So, when I wrote this poem I had gotten the idea from Parks blog page. The idea is that my bed is talking to me. However, I did tend to want it to seem like the subconscious as well. I would really appreciate any feedback given now that I am able to discuss what I was going for. Also, any suggestions for a better title. It was Wishes for Dreams which was horrible, but I really don't like this new one either. I don't know I'm running out of ideas. Thanks!

#10

Where's Middle Ground?

Tonight as I sat down to write yet another poem, I found myself stuck. Stuck in the same place I have been for quite sometime. Right there between not mysterious enough and too abstract. Let me explain. Last semester my work did not contain any elements of surprise. My poetry was too forward and this was very well noted. So I have tried and tried to work on this. But it seems now, that my mysterious is too mysterious. I can't seem to find that middle ground. I have been told that this is what every writer struggles with when first starting out. Finding your middle ground. So if any of you have any suggestions on how to do this please let me know. :)